Talking to people onthe internet

Ok this really isn't directed at anyone but I posted it on cakelair and I think it applies to anyone on the internet, sometimes people just miss what the person is trying to really say cause they think the person is being a jerk when they're not:

OK I need to make this cause i'm sure I'm not the first or last or only
person who is misunderstood as being "aggressive" or "defensive" or
"offended" or whatever when I'm totally not feeling or acting that way.
I want everyone to stop and think about how tone can completely change
what the person is saying. If you apply the wrong tone to a
conversation you my as well read it out of context.

For example the sentence "why are you doing that?"
Nice tone:Now imagine someone simply was curious and wanted to know why, simple innocent, polite, why question.
Mad tone: Now imagine the person is angry and said it, this might make
you defensive or offend you or something. It imples you did somethign
wrong and they want immediate justification for your stupid actions.
Fearful tone: Now imagine someone said that out of fear, now you will
feel concerned like you made a horrible mistake, omg what are you gonna
do to fix this?

See 3 different tones, 3 different meanings. Now the problem is, people
assign random tones to people. Let me say this once: Just because 2
people disagree and are discussing the matter, DOES NOT mean either
party are angry. So don't assume so. I've read so many replies and
majority of them seem civil to me, but then all the sudden you see the
"whoa calm down" "Why are you fighting with me" or whatever, and it's
like, dude that person isn't upset, they just disagree, you're reading
into the words wrong.

Personally I think the tone you assign people is the current tone
you're feeling, so if you accuse someone of being defensive, that
probably just means you're feeling defensive yourself. But i'm not a
psychologist or anything.

Exceptions: the obvious CAPSLOCK attack of vulgar words and nonsensical
name calling, usually means the person is infact mad with you, and does
infact deserve the "calm down"

Not sure if this will help any, but hopefully we can disagree and discuss matters without it leading to hurt feelings.

I totally agree with this. I myself misunderstand a sentence and out a different tone to it, and it bugs me when someone misunderstands mine. and sometimes, people put specific tones for one person in specific.

so for example, I almost always out a sweet, nice, and of course, British tone to BB. but you never know if she actually was mad or upset.. =/

what we could do, is put the tone we have next to what we write down. for example:
"neo, you are sooooooo funny" *has laughing and kind tone*